I heard once before "you can choose your Friends but you can not choose your Family." How many of us have Friends that are more like Family than our own family members? As much as I Pray for my Family and try to have patience with them, the more I feel depressed and hurt by them. I am not talking about my immediate family - parents/siblings, I am talking about aunts/uncles and cousins. My father has always emphasized the importance of family. Although I wish I can share his same sentiment, it has proven to be very difficult and stressful at times. Sometimes I feel I am the reason that my family does not communicate with me. I feel it has to be something I have done or did to receive the mistreatment I receive from them. Perhaps I am just misunderstood. And I have to admit, my family can be quite ignorant!
For example, My aunt who no longer lives in NY feels she is better than us because we live in Harlem and she lives in Miami. When she comes to visit, she looks upon my mother and me with pity. Mind you she refuses to stay with us when she comes to NY. She stays only 10 blocks from my residence at a friend's place. And almost every time she comes to visit (which is about once/twice a year), she gets into an argument with my mother. Then she calls me to ask what happened, what did she do wrong?! How about the condescending manner in which she speaks to us?! But for the sake of argument and not to disrespect her, I tell my aunt not to worry about it. I think honesty is the best policy, but at times when you are dealing with ignorant people it is just best to keep silent. Really, if you are an adult you know how one should speak to people and treat them - especially your immediate family. Why would you want your only immediate relative that is left and your only sibling - mad or upset with you?! I have tried different ways to diffuse the situation and tried to resolve issues between my mother and her sister, but I feel the situation is much more deep rooted and a simple resolution will not suffice...
Another example would be the relatives on my father's side of the family. And I will admit - not only are they ignorant but "ghetto." I would opt to use the word uneducated than "ghetto" - but some of them are educated and hard-working. But does educated means that you are no longer ignorant?! They are so many problems or issues on that side of the family - I would have to write a book. I will say one thing that stuck out is an argument I had with a third-cousin. I decided to send e-mails to some relatives and a very close friend, concerning my discontent with them. The close friend never responded, one cousin responded amicably ( I guess trying to diffuse an on-going situation and for clarification), and the last person was my third cousin. She was the most harsh and bitter to say the least; or perhaps because she was the most verbal. She said it was my "attitude" that caused strife between her and me. "I always thought I was better and smarter than everyone". I was the only one (other than my sister) who went to Catholic school my entire childhood and I thought I was better than everyone?! But mind you, this same cousin was the only cousin who was raised in a house and now considers herself a homeowner in her mother's dwelling?! Well, I apologized for my entire childhood that my parents were able to afford for my sister and I to have a good Christian education, and thought the nuns had taught me values and morals ( I guess not)! As much as one tries to resolve a situation, if the other party is not willing to reconcile - it is really fruitless.
I will continue to pray and hope for divine intervention for my family! But at this point in life...
it is what it is.
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