Buying/Deciding on a Home is Difficult?

When I first realized my dream of living in a house was coming true - I was so overwhelmed with emotion! I still am but as I go through the Real Estate listings, I realized it is much more difficult than I thought.  Although my mother is purchasing the home cash, there are other expenses like Property Taxes, light & gas, oil & water, HOA fees, CDD fees (if living in a gated community), cable & internet, cell phones, and not to mention food!  So you are probably thinking so what's the real problem.  Buying a home big enough for 6 people.  I have my family of four & my mother has my 18 y/o nephew.  And not everyone gets along.  My husband and mother have their issues like any other in-laws.  However, my issues are deeper than that...

My nephew who lost his mother (my sister) is now 18 and barely finished high school.  My dear mother who raised him, spoiled him - rotten.  She does not want anyone to say anything to my nephew regardless if it is positive information.  And how does he act - untouchable because granny made that possible.  Untouchable is putting it mildly.  More like ungrateful!  He feels because he has all this money from a life insurance policy and a lawsuit settlement - he does not have to earn anything or work for anything.  I do not have a problem with his attitude or his selfishness because I am not around him or his "wonderful" personality.  But I would not want any of that negative behavior around my children.  The worst way of raising a child is giving him everything he asks for and not what he needs - like basic necessities.

I always tell people what you do in your home is your business.  Who am I to say anything different?  Just like no one can tell me how to run my home.  I run a tight camp on a fixed schedule.  And that's what works for me.  So here I am arguing with my mother about the homes are not big enough for two families unless it is a two-family home.  My nephew is allowed to bring his girlfriend over and spend the night, all while not attending classes like he should be!  Never held a job or knows how to apply for one.  But yet I am suppose to subject my kids to this kind of influence?  In less than 10 years my own son will try that sense of reasoning with me when he starts dating.  I DON'T THINK SO!

The ironic part - my mother does not see anything wrong with the situation.  And states "how can my nephew's life influence my children?!"  As I calmly think - how can it not... I slowly realize my dream is awakening me with a delay to my future...